As you know I recently became one of the Channel Mum vloggers. I was asked to discuss my thoughts on baby No.2 and when is the right time for another child. My immediate reaction was I havn’t given it much thought but that would actually be a lie…
For as long as I can remember I have wanted to have a 2 year age gap between my children. That’s always been my plan. I had a very structured life plan. Married by 25, First baby by 27, 2nd baby by 29, and so far I’m doing good. I’m ahead of schedule and have already met most of my major life goals 🙂
My brother and I had a two year age gap between us. I had a wonderful childhood with him filled with memories of all the games we’d play together. Of course, we did fight, as all siblings do, but for the most part we got on really well. I want that for my Rosalie.
Then October came upon us. The month that if we did want a two year age gap between our babies that we would need to start trying. If I am honest I didn’t feel ready. Rosalie was 13 months, a baby herself. The thought of having another one, Woah! To go through all that again… Was it really the right time?
Those first few months with a newborn are so all-consuming, intense, and awesome. I don’t think you are ever ready. Just as we are getting things straight a little baby will turn our world upside down again.
I look at my baby. My first born and she is my baby. My first thought when thinking of having another baby was that I might not be able to be the best mum I can with two babies to look after. That Rosalie would some how miss out.I’ve thought about it often and I know she won’t.
I think of the love I had for my brother and I cherish him. Giving Rosalie a sibling is the best gift I can give her. A best friend, someone she can grow old with. Hopefully, they will stay together and be able to look after each other when I inevitably have to leave this world.
If I am honest, I desperately want a boy. To give Rosalie a brother as I had. We shall see. I try to plan and control so many aspects of my life (see afore mentioned life plan). Unfortunately that is something I have absolutely no control over. Fate will decide that one.
So we are trying to have another baby. No, I don’t feel ready, but I am excited. I am excited to start that wonderful journey all over again. Mostly, I am excited to give Rosalie a sibling, the bestest gift of all!
Are you thinking about baby No.2? When do you think is the right time? What’s the age gap between your babies? I’d love to know what you think…
You can take a look at our video for Channel Mum on this subject here.
kerry norris13th November 2015 at 5:10 PM
We couldn't decide either but here I am one day over due. The gap will be just under 3 years. I have been through an emotional rollercoaster with this pregnancy. One minute i'm excited. The next I wonder how I could love another child. x
Sarah Cantwell14th November 2015 at 8:11 AM
I know what you mean. Sometimes I feel like my hearts not big enough for two. I've heard it grows though. Thinking of you mama. Hope baby doesn't keep you waiting much longer xx
Nin13th November 2015 at 5:30 PM
That's great! Congrats. I hope it happens for you guys soon. My other half and I are hoping for our second sooner rather than later, however, our story is a little different. Just over six weeks ago we lost our newborn daughter to SIDS. We'd said when I was pregnant we'd wait 3/4 years after Lils, but I could already feel after her that gap lessening! Haha. I always wanted a slightly bigger age gap. More than two years but less than six. My three older siblings are each seventeen months apart and have never gotten on, neither did my husband and his little brother. I'm eight, nine and ten years younger than my siblings and we all get on great now but it was like being an only child. I wish I could see my little girl with her siblings in the future, but I'm sure she'll give me some signs she's with them! ��
Sarah Cantwell14th November 2015 at 8:16 AM
Thank you, I hope it doesn't take long for you to fall again too. That's so strange that both your family and your partners siblings didn't get on. I always presumed if they were close in age the definitely would! Every family is different I guess. She'll be watching over you all for sure! Sending lots of love xxxx
Emma13th November 2015 at 6:01 PM
I have 2yrs 4 months gap and so far (baby's only 3 months) I think it's a great gap. Good luck!
Sarah Cantwell14th November 2015 at 8:17 AM
That's reassuring to know that at 3 months in it's still a good idea! Enjoy that baby, and the older one too xxx
Rebecca U13th November 2015 at 6:42 PM
I have a 2 1/4yr gap between my two but I know people with much smaller, and equally much larger gaps. You just kind of feel ready, if that makes sense?!
Sarah Cantwell14th November 2015 at 8:20 AM
I think whatever happens for your family will be the right thing for you. You can try and plan things but ultimately it's down to fate when you will conceive xxx
Colette B13th November 2015 at 7:47 PM
I have exactly two years between my first two and then two years, 4 months before the third.
Sarah Cantwell14th November 2015 at 8:20 AM
They both sound like nice age gaps. I hope they all get on xxx
Jenna Richards13th November 2015 at 9:53 PM
Yep it's something I've been thinking about a lot. I always imagined a two year age too (this was the gab between me and my brother) but like you, when the time came, I just wasn't ready. My baby still felt like a baby and I want to treasure our one-on-one time a little longer. 🙂 Good luck with your plans to extend your family. Remember, whatever age gap you end up having, it will be the right one. 🙂
Jenna at Tinyfootsteps xx
Sarah Cantwell14th November 2015 at 8:21 AM
Thanks Jenna. That is so true! Ultimately Mother Nature will decide when we conceive and like you say whenever it happens it will be right for us xx
Mrs H13th November 2015 at 11:42 PM
I don't really think that there is a right age gap. I believe that every family is different. We've been trying for a while to have a second (Little Miss H is now two and a half) but unfortunately I've lost three babies since we started trying. I have no idea what the age gap will now be or if we will even be able to have another. I don't really think there is a perfect sized family. You just have the family you have and you love them with all your heart. Hugs Mrs H xxxx
Sarah Cantwell14th November 2015 at 8:25 AM
Very true! Whatever your family make up, it's your family and so perfect for you. Ultimately we can't control when we conceive or if things will happen. Sending you lots of love and I really hope the next baby sticks. In the mean time you'll have longer to enjoy your first babe xxx
Kellie Kearney14th November 2015 at 12:28 AM
I don't think there is ever a 'right time' although I've a 19m old and 3m old. It's busy here, all go-go. So maybe just maybe at least a 2 year age gap but again every house is different xx
Sarah Cantwell14th November 2015 at 8:27 AM
Wow mama! You must be busy! I guess it might slow things down a little with a few more months but probably not that much in it. Enjoy your babies xxx
Zoë Forde14th November 2015 at 11:42 AM
Great post! I feel like people don't talk about these things very often, but it's very important to think about them x
Sarah Cantwell14th November 2015 at 11:47 AM
Thanks Zoe, that's lovely of you to say xx
Beautwins B14th November 2015 at 6:19 PM
I had twins and if I was to fall pregnant again, it's apparently highly likely I'll have twins again. But then no chance of that happening anytime soon as I'm nw single. But definitely a good question to ask. Only you and your hubby know if it's right for you. It's hard work but so rewarding. I hope you get what you dream for lovely. Fabulous post. Xx
Sarah Cantwell14th November 2015 at 7:45 PM
Two twins! Goodness me that would be hard work. You must be Super mama. Thank you so much hunny. Glad you enjoyed it xxx
Kerry Dyer14th November 2015 at 8:09 PM
Great post, we always wanted a 2 year gap although things didn't pan out that way as we lost our any boy last year. I'm now pregnant again and if all goes well, we will have a 3 year 3 month age gap, it wasn't what we wanted but I believe everything happens for a reason! x
Sarah Cantwell15th November 2015 at 11:24 AM
That age gap will be perfect for your family as that is what you have! Sienna is going to make the best big sister xxx
Laura Pilkington15th November 2015 at 11:19 AM
We're currently trying for baby number two but it's not happening as quickly as we thought! Rowan was conceived after only a month of trying and so we assumed that baby number two would be just as quick to conceive. It's been five months now and it hasn't happened as yet. I appreciate it can take a hell of a lot longer than that but I'm just so impatient!!! Alex and his older brother are 18 months apart so he's always wanted children pretty close together. Rowan is 16 months and I just fell that every day that we've not conceived that the age gap is just increasing every single day. I'm also a stay at home mum and I can't drive, no family close by either. Like you've said in your post, it would be amazing to gift your child with a brother or sister, a lifetime friend. It would be brilliant for Rowan to have someone to play.x
Sarah Cantwell15th November 2015 at 11:30 AM
Aw, try not to stress about it. That's the worst thing you do. I imagine it's hard though! My friend, who has 4, so I count her as an expert 🙂 Says you have to do the deed every day. I know, EVERY DAY but it works… Fingers crossed you fall soon lovely so Rowan can have a playmate xxx
Stephanie Moore15th November 2015 at 4:42 PM
I have nearly 5 years between my first born, I wanted a larger gap as I wanted him to be at school when the next baby came along. We left it 4 yrs and then started trying, to then fall pregnant with identical twins! Total surprise but what a lovely one. So I have no gap between 2 & 3! Whatever gap you have comes with its troubles and its positives and you just enjoy the gap you have. I don't think there is a perfect gap.
Sarah Cantwell15th November 2015 at 7:26 PM
I think your right. What will be will be. Whatever gap you have will be the perfect one for you family. Twins. What a lovely surprise! I'm so pleased people have took the time to comment. It's been so nice finding out how everyone's family is made up xxx