So it’s happening again. I’m f**king bleeding. I was pregnant, I am probably soon to be NOT.
The bleeding started yesterday, just after lunch, it started off as brown spotting. I hoped it would stop. It hasn’t. I’ve now been bleeding for a day and a half and it’s bright red.
It looks like I’m losing this baby. I went to the doctor today and asked if I could have an emergency scan as soon as possible. The last scan I had was after I had been bleeding for a few days. There was then no sign of a pregnancy at all. The baby had passed. I hoped if I could be scanned earlier, they might be able to see the pregnancy and perhaps see why this keeps happening.This won’t be happening. I won’t be scanned until next Tuesday morning. It’s Thursday evening now. That’s 5 days away. This baby will be gone by then.
Update – I had a 2nd miscarriage at approximately 4/5 weeks based on the doctors calculations. By the time I had a blood test to confirm my HCG levels, Doctors advised my hormone levels were too low to register as a pregnancy.
Anonymous23rd February 2016 at 6:32 PM
I am so sorry to hear of this second loss you have experienced. I stumbled upon your story on youtube last thursday. The day after you posted your 2nd story, and the day I had discovered I was miscarrying my first baby at 11 weeks. My heart is broken, but your vlogs gave me comfort in knowing I was not alone. And to know that this is part of life's journey, no matter how messed up it can seem in a moment. Thank you for putting it out there, my heart reaches to hug your heart.
Sarah Cantwell23rd February 2016 at 6:52 PM
I am so sorry to hear that you have also experienced this. There are no words. Nothing anyone can say will make you feel better but it does get easier. So many people have shared their stories with me and all have gone on to have successful pregnancies. Take comfort in that. There is hope for us still. If you ever want to talk, you can email me. Sending you lots of love xxxxxxx
Anonymous Anonymous26th February 2016 at 2:55 PM
I wrote this comment on the wrong post, my apologies.
Hi Sarah. I'm a new follower and I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my first baby at 7 weeks and I have never felt more devastated in my life. It was such a huge shock, I hadn't even considered it would happen. I am now 21 weeks pregnant and only in the last month or so have I let myself believe I might actually be a mummy this time around. But I am so much more grateful now I know how fragile that teeny tiny little bean is at the beginning. Your baby girl is beautiful and I'm sure your next bubba will be just as beautiful. I don't know if I believe everything happens for a reason but I know everything is a lesson. Shame some of those lessons have to be so hard! Thinking of you. Rianna. x
Sarah Cantwell26th February 2016 at 4:58 PM
Thank you for your comment Rianna. I am so sorry to hear that you have also been through this. It is truly awful. I am very pleased to hear you are expecting again. Stories like yours give me hope that one day, when the time is right we will have another little baby xx